


Whats a boy like you doing in a emergency room like this?

by TheyCallMeBol



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Flirting, F/M, Friendship goals, Hospitals, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Meet-Cute, Meet-Weird, Pining Craig Tucker, a little bit, for some reason, ice hockey, very bad timing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25995238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheyCallMeBol/pseuds/TheyCallMeBol
Summary: Bebe has to drag a pretty much unconsious Tweek to a hospital, where he proceeds to pass out. That's where they meet Craig Tucker and Clyde Donovan
Relationships: Clyde Donovan/Bebe Stevens, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 6
Kudos: 108





	Whats a boy like you doing in a emergency room like this?

**Author's Note:**

> this is very silly BUT based on fucking real events. 
> 
> I was feeling the need to write some fluffy creek!!! and this came out. hm. I dont know how i feel about it, honestly, but hey i wrote it in a couple hours so.
> 
> Also thanks a lot to Bird for betaing this!! Despite not even watching SP they were an angel :')

“Tweek, focus. You must have  _ one _ decent t-shirt.”

Tweek groans and faceplants on his desk. His google doc fills with ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff’s and jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj’s, and he’s not going to be able to hand this assignment in time. And he’s going to fail the subject because it’s like, 30% of the syllabus. And then he won’t graduate because he can’t possibly afford another year in college, and it will be Bebe’s fault.

“It will be your fucking fault, Bebe.” he mumbles.

“Huh- come again?” she says finally picking one of his t-shirts. It’s coyote brown, and has U.S ARMY written all over the chest in big black bold letters. “Where did you even get this?”

“They handed them out for free in my last year of highschool- I think. I don’t know man- Just, just take it. It’s- it’s fucking goverment military propaganda- jesuschrist why did I accept that?!”

“It doesn’t go well with my skates’ color, it’s terrible.”

“Why do you need this t-shirt again for?”

“Practice. I forgot my uniform. I’m grabbing some shorts too, that okay?”

“You’re going to be late, take whatever! They’re going to kick you off the team!” Tweek says lifting his head from the laptop quickly. He’s dizzy.

“They are not. It’s down the street Tweek, it’s fine.” she says, finally settling for a sports t-shirt he has never used in his life- too big for him. Probably stole it from someone in the gym. Oh well. They are going to kick  _ him  _ out. It’s fine, he’s going to need the money to pay for his failed assignment-

“Oh jesus-” he stands up quickly, ignoring the black dots creeping around his vision and runs to the bathroom, drops knee-first on the floor and proceeds to empty his stomach in the toilet.

“You okay, sweetie?” Bebe’s voice asks worriedly behind him. He groans. Her hand rubs soothing circles on his back. “I can skip-”

“No. No. Jimmy is about to come back soon from class. I’m fine. I’ll take some medicine.”

“Tweek. You don’t  _ own _ any drugs. Your mom sent you her weird herbs tho.”

“I don’t want fucking herbs. I want real medicine. I-I believe in science now. Fuck those quacks!”

“Okay honey. If you are not feeling better by tomorrow we can go to the hospital to have it checked. You have insurance, right?”

“Maybe?” he groans, flushing the toilet. “S-so gross. Jesus Christ.”

*

Bebe has keys to Tweek small apartment. She and all his close friends, because he’s paranoid about losing his and being ‘trapped outside’ whatever that means. So she has implicit permission to enter whenever, according to the law. Or so that one law student she went on a grand total of two dates last semester told her. 

“Sweetie? I came to bring your clothes back! You weren’t answering your phone, you okay?” she leaves the keys in the bowl on the entrance. Tweek’s keys with the little buddha keychain are still there, so she keeps walking towards his bedroom. “Tweek?”

“...water…” a weak voice says from Tweek bedroom. Bebe lets her bag hit the floor and runs to the bedroom, opening the door. “Water… please.”

“Tweek?” she says rushing to the bed. He’s there, paler than his sheets and sweety as fuck. “Water?” he nods and she runs to the kitchen.

He drowns the entire water bottle as soon as she helps him sit up. “Why didn’t you go get it?”

“I- I can’t get up- I was -ngh- waiting for Jimmy...”

“What the fuck Tweek,” she says as she feels his crammy forehead. “Jesus- you are burning up. C’mon, we are going to the hospital.”

“I called my mom- I don’t have insurance. And she’s going to be angry if I go to the doctor, she sent me a youtube video to realign my chakras-”

“I don’t fucking care,” Bebe says as she calls an uber to Tweeks door. She opens Tweek’s wardrobe and takes the first sweatshirt he can find. “C’mon. We are going.”

She takes him by the armpits, thanking all her physical conditioning training. He barely weighs a couple pounds more than her, never mind he’s several inches taller, but she manages to carry him to the elevator, and then all the way across the lobby to the street, where they only have to wait a couple minutes before the uber pulls over.

There’s not a lot of traffic, and they make it to the hospital in 15 minutes. She thanks the driver, who helps her pull Tweek out of the car. The person at the desk doesn’t give her a lot of problems when she can’t give them Tweek’s ID; her angry eyes are enough to get them to the emergency room.

It’s packed, but she’s glad she can finally sit Tweek down. He’s still conscious, kinda. Sweating buckets and mumbling nonsense. She lets her head hit the wall behind her. What’s her life even?

“You okay sweetie? Need something?” she says brushing some hair out of his eyes. He looks at her, eyes unfocused. “Have you eaten anything today?”

“Water- and yes... Hungry. I’m- I’m hungry. Fuck I’m hungry, Bebe-” he says, barely above a whisper.

“Okay. I’m going to go to the vending machine that’s outside, okay? It’s two minutes. Think you can manage? If they call your name, tell them I’m coming.”

He nods and she runs outside, her ‘companion’ sticker clinging to her shirt. She doesn’t have that much money, and quite frankly the vending machine is scamming herthey scam her, but Tweek needs it, so she pays almost 8 dollars for nuts and a small bottle of water. She gets a text from Jimmy asking if everything is okay on her way back, and she’s texting back when she hears the commotion.

When she enters the emergency room everyone is crowded right where she was a minute ago, and she pushes past them to find Tweek passed out on the floor.

“SHIT! NURSE?!” she screams. She leaves the food on the floor and pulls his legs over a chair, as the people around them shout her orders.  _ ‘Take his clothes off! He’s cold, put this on! Water! He’s sweating, here, dry him off!  _ “Can someone get a nurse?!” she shouts as she fans Tweek with a notebook someone has given her.

Some nurses come running and help her sit Tweek up again, and check his temperature and heart rate. Once he recovers consciousness they leave assuring her they will be back soon. The people around her talk, and she answers them with nonsense as she tries to get Tweek to drink water and eat some toasted corn.

Someone gives her a big plastic bag, where she puts Tweek’s sweatshirt, and the food, as well as her own coat. She takes her phone and her earphones out, and looks for her instrumental piano playlist on spotify, and adjusts the earbuds so Tweek can listen to it. He has his eyes closed now, and he is breathing unevenly, but he finds her hand and squeezes it weakly. She smiles tightly, and lets her head rest against the wall again. 

She hasn’t even gotten to queue up five songs when she feels someone tap her shoulder. She turns, unamused, and finds a boy around her age, in a red varsity jacket. He’s tall and totally her type, but now is really not the fucking moment.

“That's your brother?” he asks, inviting himself to sit next to her.

“No?”

“Your boyfriend then?”

“No.”

“He’s your friend!” he says, lighting up.

“Yes.” she says through gritted teeth. Seriously. Not the fucking time. Take a fucking hint.

“Oh. Cool. Friendship goals.” he says, hands on his pockets. “I hope he gets better. Being ill sucks. I’m not. Ill, I mean. I’m taking a medical exam, you know? Because I’m an athlete.”

“Greeeeat.” she says rolling her eyes.

“Yeah. I have to stay in peak form. For my full ride sports’ scholarship. You know because…” he says, sitting so his arm is on an angle popping his bicep out and resting his face on his hand ‘casually’. “I’m an athlete.”

“Listen, fucknut-”

“Is he bothering you?” a deep voice says. She turns, ready to tell all of them to get the fuck out but the guy smacks the varsity dude behind the neck.

“AUCH, Craig, what the fuck?”

“Stop harassing people. Nobody cares that you play rugby or whatever.” 

“It’s football bitch!”

“And I don’t care. Can’t you see she’s fucking busy?” he says, voice impassive. “Your friend okay?”

“Tweek?” she says feeling his forehead, he opens his eyes slowly, fluttering against his wet eyelashes. “How you feeling?”

“Like marshmallows. But melting. Inside myby stomach, ack! oH Jesus Bebe they are going to drill my stomach with their acid-”

“That’s not how it works.” ‘Craig’ says next to them. “You need a nurse.”

“No shit.” Bebe says. He looks at them for a couple seconds, his expression being the most perfect poker face Bebe has ever seen. And she was born in Vegas. He walks off, and grabs an unsuspecting nurse, easily a head shorter than him. They leave the emergency room, and varsity guy opens his mouth to spill some dumb flirty line but his friend comes back with a gurney.

“Good idea, Craig!” varsity guy says and stands up, trying to get to Tweek, but Bebe lifts her arm, blocking him. “C’mon I can pull him up, I’m a-”

“A jerk. Hold the gurney.” Craig says. He asks with his eyes and Bebe sighs. She takes the earphones off Tweek and he blinks slowly. Craig crouches down in front of Tweek, and slips his arms under his legs and back, lifting him easily, bride style. If Tweek wasn’t high on a fever, he would complain about personal space and such, but as he is, he just nuzzles on the strangers neck. Bebe takes a picture.

Varsity guy holds the gurney and helps Tweek settle, grabbing his hand and telling him everything will be okay. Tweek asks him if he’s Buddha and varsity tells him that, yes, he is Buddha, and has come to save him. Bebe refrains from finding it sweet. She gets the bag with their stuff and pushes the gurney with varsity guy as Craig opens the doors.

A nurse calls Tweek’s name and they take the four of them to a small room. The two friends wait outside as Bebe enters the small office and explains what he knows of Tweek’s situation. The doctors are confused beyond repair until she mentions he doesn’t have any vaccines.

“Of course.” the doctor mutters, her ponytail swaying as she nods her head. “Hippie parents?”

“They didn’t want him to even  _ come _ to the doctor. They sent him chakra videos, whatever that means.”

“Okay kid, you did the right thing by bringing him here,” the doctor smiles and Bebe sighs, relieved. “One last question, do they have money? Could they potentially sue us?”

“They are poor as rats and Tweek’s 20. You are fine.” Bebe waves off. The doctor nods and starts asking for tests and stuff to her nurse, who rushes out of the room. 

When Bebe exits the office, Craig and varsity are still there, the latter waving at her excitedly. She sits next to them.

“He okay now?” varsity asks.

“He has been there for 10 minutes Clyde, she doesn’t know.” Craig says. ‘Clyde’ frowns with a sad grimace.

“I’m sure he will get better, don’t worry.” he says, trying to reassure her. She smiles.

They stay in silence as nurses and gurneys run through the hallway. She takes out her phone to text her coach and warn her she won’t make it to practice today when she realises something.

“Hey!” she says, both boys turn to look at her. “I know you!”

“Me?!” Clyde says grinning.

“No, you,” she says pointing at Craig, who lifts an unimpressed eyebrow. “You’re Tucker! You play left wing in the hockey team?”

“Oh,” he says. “Yes.”

“Me too! On the girls team, obviously,” she says. “I thought you were familiar. Not used to seeing you with the chullo tho.”

“He doesn’t even take it off, it must stink-” Craig punches him on the arm. Clyde whines. “Seriously bro you  _ don’t _ -”

“Your friend plays too?” Craig asks, interrupting his ‘bro’.

“Who, Tweek?” Bebe laughs. “No, no way. It would be ‘too much pressure’. He boxes tho. Don’t let his stature and lean body fool you, he could kick both your asses.”

Bebe suppresses a smirk when Craig nods and a faint blush spreads over his neck. Interesting.

“So,” Clyde says. “What do you study?”

“Chemical engineering.” Bebe says

“Shit really? You’re smart too?” Clyde whines, “Damn. There go my chances.” he whistles and imitates a plane crash with his hands.

“What chances, Romeo? Who said I was interested?”

Clyde’s lip trembles and he tries to hug Craig who rolls his eyes but lets him whine on his shoulder.

“I told you. Learn to read the atmosphere. Asking someone out when their friend is passed out has 0 chance of success.”

“Theoretically?”

“Objectively.” Craig says. Bebe nods. Clyde huffs.

“You are just sooo cute. I couldn’t just. Let it go, you know?” Bebe refrains  _ again _ to find it cute. No. No way. “I  _ had _ to try. My mama raised no quitter.”

“She didn’t raise a brute either.” Craig says, face still unfazed. His friend groans.

“I’m sorry for coming too hard on you. That wasn’t nice of me.”

“Wasn’t a nice choice of words either.” Craig deadpans and Clyde punches him on the arm. He gives him the finger.

“Again. Lesson learned. I won’t hit on strangers in the hospital again. Bad idea.”

“Poor execution,” Bebe chimes in. Clyde looks to the floor like a kicked puppy. “Not necessarily a bad idea. I mean, look at your friend prince charming here. He scooped Tweek in his arms and everything.”

Craig turns red as a tomato and pulls his chullo over his eyes. Clyde grins like a maniac and looks at Bebe with trouble written all over his face.

“He diiiiiid, didn’t he?” he says, elbowing his friends, who sinks lower on the chair. “Now, now Craig. We don’t even know if the guy is gay, what about consent, champ?”

“He very much is,” Bebe says, smiling too. “And has a fancy for tall, dark and handsome.”

Craig slumps impossibly further on the chair, shoulders hiding his red face. “Stop.”

“They are probably drugging him right now and he won’t remember, but I think you are very worried and will want to check out how he feels tomorrow, don’t you?”

“He does!” Clyde says. “Here, I’ll give you his number.”

Bebe and Clyde exchange contact numbers and socials, and Bebe  _ doesn’t  _ find cute how Clyde’s instagram is filled with photos of his bernese puppy. And that night, when she’s not checking out his stories, she doesn’t screenshot a ‘post-workout’ pic.

*

Craig feels very much like a stalker when he opens the door. Bebe has assured him it’s fine and begged him to check on Tweek and leave some soup she made for him to eat, since she couldn’t skip practise today. His team trains at the ring right when the girls finish, so he has plenty of time to check on the boy and then he’s going to the same place anyways, so he begrudgingly accepts when Bebe corners him at the library that morning.

How she knew where he was, he’d rather not ask.

He feels like a thief, walking in familiar hallways, trying to keep quiet. Most of the apartments are pretty much the same on campus, so he knows the distribution. Bebe said Tweek’sthe other roommate is in class, so he should be fine. Both bedroom doors are closed, and he knocks, but no one answers. He decides to heat the soup and look for the boy. He’s barely finished pouring the tupperware on a pan and taken a step backwards, when a powerful kick in the back of his knee makes him faceplant on the floor, dropping pans and pans and cutlery all over the floor and himself as he tries to grab onto something.

“What the fuck?!” he says turning.

Tweek is above him, fists raised and shirtless, in a fighting stance.

“What the fuck  _ you  _ m-man!” he says. “You’re the one on my fucking house! Who the hell are you!!”

“Bebe gave me the keys!” he says lifting his arms up in surrender. Fuck, he looks hot. Jesus Tucker this is seriously not the moment. “She asked me to come check you out!”

“Excuse me?!”

“CHECK ON YOU-” God please, a hole to swallow him now would be terrific. “Soup! She gave me soup for you!”

Tweek grabs one of the knives on the counter, one of the ones that Craig thankfully didn’t throw over himself when he fell down, and points at him threateningly. He looks to the side quickly, twitching a bit and checks the soup.

“W- who are you.” he says, lips pressed on a thin line.

“Craig. Tucker,” he says, standing up slowly, Tweek doesn’t stop pointing at him with the knife. Craig doesn’t stop finding hot. What the fuck is wrong with him. “We met yesterday? Kinda. At the hospital.”

“Oh,” Tweek says, blushing hard, and proceeds to release the knife on the floor. “JESUS!” he says, jumping backwards before the knife slices his foot. “Oh god. God- I feel so dizzy-”

“Go to your bedroom, I’ll bring you the soup. That okay?” he asks. “I could call Bebe too, she’s already in practise but-”

“No- No. It’s fine. I’m…” Tweek says gripping the counter hard. “ _ Fuck.” _

“Here,” Craig says approaching slowly and lifting his arms. “I can carry you? Like yesterday. If- if you want of course-”

“It wasn’t a dream?” Tweek blurts out, and when he realises what he’s said he turns impossibly red, from neck to ears. “F-FORGET THAT.”

“C’mon, you are delirious.” Craig says, hosting the boy up. “You are heavier than you seem.” he babbles, suddenly nervous and screwing up royally. Yeah call him fat while you are at it, will you?  _ God, you there?  _ Tweek’s laugh interrupts his thoughts and his heart skips a bit.

“Thanks,” he says and points at his bedroom door. “I’m all muscle.”

Craig hums and opens the door. He sits Tweek careful and stays crunched, looking at his beautiful hazel eyes. You know, like a creep.

He takes a step back, trying to cool his features down, and Tweek laughs nervously.

“You feel any better?” he manages to say through the knot in his throat.

“Y-yeah,” Tweek says. “Ggh, soup. Soup would be great tho. I haven’t eaten anything.”

Craig nods and leaves the room in three long strides. Holy fuck. Who gave him any right to be that cute?

*

For the third time in five minutes, Tweek jumps in his seat when another player collides against the glass. 

He muffles the noises coming out of his mouth on the huge sweater Craig gave him after two months of dating. It’s big enough to fit two Tweeks, but then again, hockey uniforms are huge. Clyde is shouting excitedly next to him, and he stands up when number 18 shoots straight like an arrow, cutting through the ice. In a blur of white and red, Tweek can see the exact moment the player he’s fixating his gaze on is sent flying against the wall again, but with a quick and powerful twist the stick hits the puck on a curved line. The disk flies across the ring and directly into the net, right as its shooter crashes against the glass.

Tweek stands up and screams excitedly. Clyde loses it next to him. 

“Another terrific point by Stevens! She’s making one hell of a season!” the commentator says. She waves at the public as she skates through the stands, passing by them as Clyde sends her kisses.

Craig comes back with some snacks and throws them at Clyde, whose face is almost dangerously pressed to the glass. Someone decks Bebe against it again, reminding Tweek why he hates watching his friends play ice hockey and Clyde shouts “Watch it asshole, that’s my girlfriend!!”

In the end, the Pioneers win by several points. Tweek likes this part a lot. All Bebe’s teammates hug each other and take a couple pictures. Clyde rushes to the door and hoists her up when she comes out, gear and everything. 

Craig likes to do it too, and they have been featured in the team’s instagram account several times. The most liked post is a boomerang of Craig twisting him in circles in the ice. He has a similar picture as his background on his laptop. Stripe sleeping on his chest as Craig is passed out on his bed is his phone’s one.

His boyfriend slides his arm over his shoulder and Tweek leans on him. Even after the weird turn of events he doesn’t thank his parents for not having him vaccinated as they should have when he was younger, because he knows the universe works in funny ways and he would have met Craig anyways.

Because Craig’s there when he gets his first vaccine. When he celebrates surviving finals. When a guy at the gym breaks his jaw. When his parents don’t talk to him for a month when they discover he’s ‘alienated’. When he takes his first roadtrip ever. When he graduates. When he crashes his first job interview, and when he gets his first job. When his bestfriend gets married, and when he becomes godfather of the fattest, blondest child he’s ever seen.

Craig is there almost every step of the way, since that weird day at the emergency room. As if he was always meant to be.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Yes a dude at an emergency room thought it was the perfect moment to hit on me while my friend was literally passed out. That's the exact conversation we had. It's a funny anecdote and know hopefully a semi-fun sp story!
> 
> Hope you liked it :D


End file.
